How To Be The Right Kind Of “Asshole”

right kind of asshole

What Does It Mean To “Be An Asshole”?

I put the word in parentheses because I understand the word differently than a lot of other people.

Winners are often labeled as “assholes” for neutral behavior.

I didn’t laugh at your lame-ass joke?

I didn’t respond to your annoying and cringe-worthy text?

Yeah, I must be such an asshole right?

There Are Different Ways Of Going About
Being An “Asshole”

Many think “be a dick = get women” and start acting abrasive. The truth is, insecurities always shine through.

You can always discover the truth about a person by observing their actions. Instead of coming off as a self-amused cheerful “asshole”, the dude just seems rude and antisocial.

Don’t be spiteful.

There’s a fine line to walk between teasing and insults. The difference is in the frame.

A cuck views self-interest as inconsiderate. He lives to kiss ass. His worldview is quite juvenile. He lacks the strength to be secure in his own reality and looks to others to validate his esteem.

Such losers suck up to winners, feeding off their attention.

A Winner Lives In His Reality

  • He’s on his own time.
  • He makes himself scarce.
  • He’s the king of the world.

Others either fall into his frame or miss out on the value/fun he provides. Such traits are the essence of leadership. Most people are weak-willed and prefer to be led.

Your Actions Express Your Value

Do you come from a position of strength?

Are you capable of entertaining yourself?

Know that your inner best friend is always there with you. Channeling your inner-value will have other people fight for your attention.

It’s up to you whether or not you give it to them.

One of the quickest ways to improve your life is to implement a “no bullshit/no time to waste” policy. Value is all about attitude. The more comfortable you become with your reality, the less other people will concern you.

Life grows increasingly under your control.

When other peoples’ reactions lose their significance, you gain tremendous power. You get to pick and choose how to act.

Some things aren’t even worth responding to.

I encourage you to use your high value in a positive way. Elevate your friends who are weaker. Think of them as younger brothers. Lead by example. Let your actions show others what being a winner’s all about.

Being An “Asshole” Isn’t About Hurting Other People

You’re simply being neutral towards them.

There’s no obligation to laugh at lame jokes, listen to boring stories, or engage in gossip. It doesn’t make you a “bad person” to put your reality first. It isn’t your fault if your frame makes other people uncomfortable about their insecurities. You have the choice whether or not to get wrapped up in their drama.


A winner takes action, a loser reacts.

P.S. Enjoy this post? Read “ON! For Him“.

It contains my best game essays, organized for your convenience.

on mockup



YES! I want to join the winner's circle. Please send updates to the following email address (at no cost to me)


  1. Man Reader says

    A good thing about this blog is that you update often. Good job.

    I’m finding that women just don’t get it and really need real asshole game kind of like what Heartist recommends. I get what you’re saying here. I do. But get this. You’re going to say I’m a bitter beta and coming off that way but I swear–can’t prove it by writing this comment but I really think it’s true–I’m not.

    Here’s the thing. I have developed *true* confident, self-amusement, nonattachment to outcome, entertain myself, true achievements. Graduated top of my class from law school at age 24, while being a good looking guy who has always lifted weights, kicked ass in sports, etc. Have slept with 18 women (I’m 37), none less than a true 7 and none weighing more than 130 pounds (and she is 5’7″). I have high standards. I have flat out turned town fatties who literally expressly begged to go home with me…I don’t go hogging. But I do sort of go from one LTR to the next and I have “oneitus.”

    But I have *purposely* from a position of true confidence refused to follow *some* of the rules. Like I will compliment a woman and I will sometimes get a nice steak dinner for a first date BECAUSE I AM FUCKING HUNGRY AND I WANT TO EAT STEAK. And I won’t let her pay, of course.

    I’ll be playful, teasing, funny, all from a position of self-amusement.

    But I swear that every single time the first date is a steak dinner or I’m too nice, the girl WRONGLY concludes I’m beta or “too nice” or whatever and doesn’t return texts. I also don’t do the wait 3 days thing. Out of a position of true confidence. I’m a great catch, this bitch has accomplished very little in her self-centered life, and she’d be VERY luck to be my girlfriend or eventual wife.

    But here is my conclusion: Heartist is correct and girls just don’t understand and are not aware of their own hypergamy. Every single god damned time I’m nice, the girl WRONGLY sees it as weakness.

    So my conclusion is that Heartist is right and you have to pretty much treat the like dirt. It’s frustrating.

    • says

      It’s about being the right kind of asshole. As confident as you might be, there are still certain rules that are never to be broken. Make her work hard for your affection.

      • Man Reader says

        Thanks. And which are these rules? I imagine one is “wait 3 days to text or call”? That just pisses me off so much. If I want to call a girl, I should be able to call her, as long as I’m confident and not needy. And I’m not. I fucking busy, no joke. With work, working out, and playing my guitar. I actually think “I don’t really have time to go out with this girl and perhaps bring her home and then have her in my apartment the next morning when I need to get ready for work.” I truly–after a divorce, and I have 2 kids–follow the “just focus on yourself” part. Working out, learning music, getting my sleep. It’s funny. I’m on right now just to check it out. Never did that before. Every single one of these women is completely oblivious to their own hypergamy. They all say “is there a man out there who still opens doors?” and “chivalry is not dead.” Fucking bullshit!!!! We normal guys–most of us–spent our 20s being PUNISHED for being the nice guy who actually wanted to get married. Total turnoff to them. I sound like “bitter beta,” I know, but I’m good looking and have done alright. I’m probably “greater beta.” All of the game blogs are right. Women’s brains don’t actually know how their vagina wants the alpha. Have you been on Is it beta just to do that? Frankly what have I to lose? I make $155,000 a year so I can spring for 30 bucks to try it out. Anyway…it’s funny. The women all claim, in their profiles, to be seeking a beta. (They don’t use this terminology, of course, but that’s what their profiles say.) Even the 20somethings. I understand that a 38 year old post-wall divorcee might actually want a beta so she doesn’t starve to death. But even the cute 8s who are 24 claim to want a beta. But they really don’t.

        I went on a date with one. Described above. I’m convinced she has blown be off literally for the sole reason that I paid for a nice dinner (because I was hungry and *I* wanted to eat).

        Now, how to run asshole game over is something I have not figured out yet.

        I’m divorced with 2 kids and 37 and I pay thousands of dollars a month in child support. I can understand why many women don’t want a man in that situation. But here’s why I could be a “legit” bitter beta if I wanted to be: in my 20s, I was a good catch for what society teaches us that women want. I did everything right. Law school but I work out and look good—not normal fat dweeby lawyer. Have a good head of hair. I’m good looking. I was making $130,000 a year at the age of 27 *in Florida* in 2002!!! That was *real* good. That’s like $400,000 in NYC today. I got there through hard work and delayed gratification. I didn’t come from money. I was studying in the law school library from age 21-24 while these achieved-nothing bimbos were riding the carousel.

        And guess what. What do you find now? You find 27-year-old women who are real proud that they (finally) just got their B.A. in psychology, work in marketing making $30,000 a year, and are “working” on their masters. LOL. I had a fucking doctoral degree at age 24, have been on my own for 15 years making six figures. These women have not accomplished much at all other than learning how to apply makeup and shop, literally.

        Only point is that when I was in my 20s, I was still blue pill and was not bitter. I basically “offered” myself to dozens of 25 year olds or so who would wish they were with me now if only they had known, but they were riding the carousel. Follow me?

        Right now even.. it says right on the screen on that I make over $150,000. Even the women who admit they want a man with “ambition” usually don’t respond to my cute, flirty messages. And I have a good profile that shows that I’m good looking and shows me out having fun.

      • says

        Some of that honestly hurt to read, Man Reader.

        I’m an electrician and my income is about the same as yours. I always take women somewhere nice on dates, and I would never let a woman pay. I also pull out chairs and open doors. It’s never failed to sweep a woman off her feet.

        I’m not sure what you are doing wrong, but I would definitely warn you against too much txting/calling. I’ve talen a girl out and ignored her for two weeks, and she was still txting me.

        I think you are trying to buy pussy. You mentioned your money way too much. Just my opinion.

        -Dr. Illusion


  1. […] understanding of the concept. If another person has a better idea than you, it is ok to back down. There is a difference between holding your ground and being unnecessarily stubborn. When it comes to interacting with women, your frame needs to be […]

  2. […] Our society tells us that a lack of beta-ness means that you are a shallow “asshole”. Truthfully, you are a man who is unapologetic about his masculinity. An overabundance of beta traits proves that you are a weak-minded […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *