What’s the truth about social reality?
Different people perceive you as dominant in different situations because charisma is contextual. Much of this has to do with your environment, the men surrounding you, and the type of woman sizing you up.
A guy who’s the leader of a bunch of nerds will likely appear weak among a group of convicted felons.
However, the one thing that isn’t contextual is a strong mindset.
As long as you act like the best version of yourself, you’ll vibe well with the right kinds of people.
Charisma Is Largely Mental
Being a winner is all about how readily you give your power (responsibility) away. Many guys who are considered good looking don’t know how to project their sexual energy. They come off as simps because they’re too eager. Good looks and a good physique will get your foot through the door, but you still need to act relatively indifferent.
Different girls like different things.
Your game can be flawless and you can still strike out repeatedly just because the best version of yourself doesn’t turn on a particular chick. The trick is to find girls receptive to you. A lot of guys get over excited at this initial receptiveness and become too submissive to the girls, effectively destroying their dominant aura.
Some of my alpha friends will become more “beta” in a relationship. At the same time, “betas” will appear as alphas to women who they’re dismissive of.
It’s impossible to be the leader of every dynamic. Total dominance at any cost should never be the goal.
The Quality Of Women You Regularly Pull
Is A Direct Reflection Of Your Charisma
I feel as if understanding this concept has been a missing piece of my mental puzzle for a long time. I would get offended at repeated rejections because I felt as if my frame wasn’t strong enough. During a dry spell, I would sometimes lower my standards and still get rejected.
It seems as if you have just as much of a chance at getting an attractive woman as a non-attractive woman. Some of the egos out there are fucking ridiculous. The worst thing about it is that you’ll feel shittier about yourself for not getting the “sure thing”.
All that you really need to do is channel the most powerful version of yourself. It’s important to put your reality first. Men who are successful in other realms of life often become contextual betas for women because they believe in a false model of reality.
Stop the supplication and stop giving away your power so freely. Don’t text back immediately just because you think she’s down.
Supplication Speeds Up Loss Of Attraction
When you adopt an alpha frame, your girl should never fully figure you out. With a beta frame, you give her all the info from the get go. It leaves nothing left to desire.
I felt like I could soften up around girls who were showing strong interest, but experience has taught me time and time again that you need to maintain your frame even if you think you got it in the bag.
Your game could be flawless and you could still get rejected just because she wasn’t attracted to you. Sometimes, I’ll get a number and use solid text game (long response times, short messages, abbreviations/shitty grammar, no punctuation, innuendos) and still get flaky responses. This is because the girl simply wasn’t attracted enough to make anything of the situation.
Chasing Un-Receptive Women Will
Antagonize Your Interactions
The difference between winners and losers is mindset and action. After all, it’s our actions that make us who we are. While social perception can change, most guys generally fall more to one side of the continuum. When you fully internalize high-value principles, dominance comes natural to you because it feels like the right thing to do.
All you have to do is work towards being the best version of yourself and the right girls will be more eager to show themselves.
P.S. Read “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Cabane.