How To Express Proper Aloofness – Balancing Push With Pull

A major ingredient in a winning attitude is a general aloofness towards other people.

However, this aloofness needs to be combined with a strong presence in order to be effective.

The “too-cool-for-school” guy sitting alone at the bar not talking to anyone is definitely NOT getting laid.

You Can Only Take Aloofness So Far Before You’re
Overlooked Entirely

Think of all the invisible losers of the world.

Do you think aloofness will help them get girls?

  • No Presence/Power + Aloofness = celibacy
  • No Presence/Power – Aloofness = dancing monkey
  • Presence/Power – Aloofness = clown game (effective, but could be better)
  • Presence/Power + Aloofness = deadly tight game

The best way to be aloof and present is to throw out occasional crumbs of conversation that leave people wanting more. Engage conversation, but then withdraw your attention to a neutral level (unless you disprove).

A winner surveys his domain while others attempt to qualify themselves to him. Their world takes place in a much smaller sphere engulfed by his own. Appearing distracted by more important things, he’s entirely absorbed within HIS world.

True aloofness comes naturally when you are focusing on your self. When you’re engaged in moving forward, the struggles of others cease to interest you.

Why would you ever suck up to others? Why do you care about the next man’s hustle?

Be About Yourself And Your Journey

Having internalized a proper aloof frame will have you approach interactions much differently than your average loser.

Instead of thinking “omg she’s sooo hawt… I need to qualify myself”, you think “she might be interesting… let’s see what she has to offer”.

An aloof man doesn’t get offended when others don’t mesh with his reality. It’s ultimately their loss for missing out on his value.

P.S. Enjoy this post? Read “ON! For Him“.

It contains my best game essays, organized for your convenience.

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  1. T says

    This was my biggest problem starting out. I was the cool guy who sat at a party ignoring girls and their IOI’s because i was so ‘alpha’. Took a while to learn. Good post as usual

  2. James says

    Great info. I found myself naturally doing this without even realizing it throughout most of my life. The problem was I was sometimes too aloof and hardly engaged in the conversational aspect of it. When I added that in I could notice a difference in how I was seen by others.

    An excellent place to learn more about this is in Robert Greene’s book “The Art of Seduction”. Read the chapter “the Coquette” to learn more.


  1. […] The male sexual hierarchy is largely mental. Being alpha/beta is all about how readily you give your power away. There are many guys who are considered good looking that don’t know how to project their sexual energy. They come off as beta because they are too eager. Good looks and a good physique will get your foot through the door, but you still need to act relatively indifferent. […]

  2. […] When you feel secure enough within a high-value frame, you can throw out crumbs of conversation to the people within your vicinity to see if they are compatible with your principles. If their behaviors and attitudes are up to par, you can engage them further. At that point you are shit-testing them for compliance. […]

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