The only person who can save you from your insecurities is YOURSELF.
Go back and read that again.
Did it sink in?
You Don’t Have To Wait For People To Give You The Green Light To Feel Good About Yourself
I feel as if too many people expect others to save them from their insecurities. Betas in particular have a tendency to project all of their problems onto their respective objects of desire.
If only my one-itis would be my girlfriend!
Such thinking is completely delusional because it sets unrealistic expectations. Every single person is “flawed” in their own way. Woman are not virtuous angels with magical powers.
I have witnessed betas rage when their fantasies come crashing down. Expecting people to solve your problems will only set you up for frustration. Even cads who fuck hundreds of women can still remain unfulfilled if they never find out how to love themselves. They think, “Maybe if I get another notch I’ll be able to love myself unconditionally.”
We all mask our insecurities in different ways – junk food, drugs, casual sex, reality tv, etc.
Others over-compensate by pushing positive habits to diminishing returns.
- fluff reading as procrastination.
- compulsive socialization as “networking”.
- spending all your time in the gym instead of rounding out weaknesses.
It’s Important To Get To The Root Of Why You
Feel The Way You Do
I lacked self-esteem in grade school because I was too pussy to get pussy. This feedback loop became a self-fulfilling cycle.
One day, I noticed a new foreign exchange student sitting by herself in the main common area. Despite being extremely quiet, I decided to say hello. Even with my low confidence I could tell that she was immediately attracted. We went out to lunch and my mind was blown at how easy it was to talk to girls.
This couldn’t be!
Talking to girls was supposed to be hard!
My ego was not used to this kind of “success”. This new reality was too much for me to handle so I intentionally sabotaged the flirty vibe by acting like a giant asshole (the abrasive kind).
At the time, I couldn’t see girls as flawed humans. I wasn’t mentally ready to leave the low value reality I had built for myself. It was too comfortable.
My ego (identity) refused to acknowledge this potential change.
I was emotionally invested in my insecurities because they gave me excuses to hold myself back. The victory line was inches away, but I couldn’t accept it – even though it’s what I truly desired.
If success with women was really so easy, what else was my ego forcing me to miss out on?
You will never know your capabilities until you try. I thought of myself as a loser, even when external reality told me otherwise. Congruency to my identity was more important than success. It was my own negative thoughts that kept me in a state of arrested development.
It’s crazy how our egos don’t allow for too much immediate change. Extremely rapid positive changes can’t be comprehended.
It has taken me several years to break my old identity apart piece by piece. The loser mentality was formed through circumstance and it was destroyed with experience. Success is much easier when you feel worthy of it.
Low self-esteem is not inherent to your being.
I feel as if everyone is born with confidence. From childhood onward we’re all placed on varying trajectories that mold our personalities accordingly. It’s a mix between nature and nurture.
Hedonistic Indulgences Are A Temporary Escape From A Negative Self-Image
The dopamine burst is fleeting. You’ll forever be chasing the dragon until you raise your average emotional baseline. The only way to have healthy relationships is to accept others for who they actually are.
People are just people.
Take responsibility for your own insecurities by putting yourself into situations that force you to conquer them.
Life Is Infinitely Better When You Respect Yourself
This positive self-worth has always been with you… sadly, too many lose sight of it. I’ve had plenty of opportunities in front of me throughout my life, but I let them pass me by because I didn’t feel worthy enough to take action.
Only so much will fall into your lap…
Can you imagine what would happen if you actually stood up and started taking what’s rightfully yours?
You’re directly responsible for your own success.
Relevant Reading: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willick