Peer pressure is often viewed in a negative light.
It carries a stigma similar to “bullying”, “hazing”, and “manipulation”.
However, peer pressure itself is neutral. It only carries a negative stigma because people don’t know how to use it the right way.
What if I told you peer pressure can actually be a good thing?
Positive Peer Pressure Leads To Improvements
Crazy as it sounds, peer pressure is a part of our tribal nature.
It’s the expectation to conform to your social surroundings.
Different groups have different requirements for belonging. Social networks follow certain rules, standards, and customs which enforce “normalcy”. This unspoken contract serves as terms of engagement. If a person can’t blend with the culture of a group, he’s pushed out.
Loser groups tear you down, and winner groups build you up.
You’ve probably heard the often repeated James Altucher quote:
You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
The people surrounding you are the pillars of your social reality (sense of normalcy). Their standards subconsciously affect your own. Regardless who you hang out with, there will be a subtle pull to conform. This expectation can either be an anchor or a rocket to your personal growth.
Losing isn’t so much the result of massive failures, but rather 1,000 paper cuts.
Create Your Own Social Environment
The balance of a group is the average of its standards.
When you surround yourself with winners, you create an environment of positive peer pressure.
There will be an expectation for you to GIVE VALUE. (i.e. consistently upping your game)
By watching your friends attain greatness, you gain insight into their habits/approach. You also start to believe that you’re worthy of results because you’ve seen it been done before. Similarly, if you want to find better friends, start by raising your own personal standards.
Positive peer pressure is the glue binding winning groups. It enforces accountability and responsibility.
Enforcing high standards may appear “mean” on the surface, but it’s simply the price to pay for excellence.
Loser Groups Hold Themselves To
- They’re content with being broke.
- They don’t mind wasting their time.
- They bond over low-value activities (i.e. watching winners win)
While many of these losers are “nice”, they don’t have the self-respect necessary to elevate themselves.
Since everyone around them encourages mediocrity, they may even feel guilty for disregarding the standards of their surroundings. In addition, they lack faith in their own self-sufficiency and are afraid of losing their low-value friendships.
However, many of these friendships are simply partnerships in addiction. The only reason they exist is because they’re the physical expressions of various insecurities.
This kind of peer pressure keeps you on a lower level.
What do you value more – your own success or membership to a group with low standards?
The choice is obvious.
Your Lifestyle Is Built Upon Ideas, And Ideas
Are Socially Reinforced
When you experience a major mindset shift, mediocrity becomes intolerable.
Shortly thereafter, you can no longer find the incentive to surround yourself with certain people.
You start to lose patience for loser ideas and attitudes. Familiar energies feel abrasive.
The pillars of your social reality crumble into dust.
However, your new vibration will attract higher quality friends. Their philosophies will mesh with yours, and positive peer pressure will strengthen your bonds.
- Peer pressure itself is neutral.
- Place your own success above blind group membership.
- Positive peer pressure is the glue binding winning groups.
- Surrounding yourself with winners affects personal development.
- Losers hold lower standards and try to shame those who improve themselves.
Relevant Reading: “The Law of Success in 16 Lessons” by Napoleon Hill. It contains lots of useful information about creating high-value groups and using positive peer pressure to your benefit!