How Self-Worth Is Essential To Well-Being

The more you seek esteem, the less you obtain it, for it depends on the opinion of others.

-Balthasar Gracian

The number one thing most people lack in their lives is a healthy amount of self-worth.

Hedonistic outlets such as:

Drugs
Women
Alcohol, etc

serve as a temporary mask to cover up this gaping hole.

While these things are enjoyable, they can only ever be the dessert of your life.

(Not the main course).

Self-worth is a natural part of your being, yet many people lose sight of this energy due to the constant demands and external frames impressed upon them.

When you value yourself, there’s no need to seek validation through fucking ratchet ass hoes.

When you have better things to do, shit like that loses its meaning.

Everyone else’s love for you is conditional, so why would you place your self-esteem into their hands?

Table of Contents

The Outer World Is Constantly Changing, But You Can Control Your Inner World

Personal power (self-worth) spills out onto your surrounding environment.

When you have your own back at all times, it’s impossible for anyone else to bring you down.

There will always be haters and difficult people…

But who really gives a shit?

What have they amounted to?

Freedom comes from seeing the ignorance of your critics and discovering the emptiness of their virtue.

The only time an opinion should have any weight on your decisions is if you respect that individual and their wisdom.

Take Your Life Into Your Own Hands And Learn How To Rely On Others Less And Less

The goal is to be entirely self-sufficient in all realms of life.

Waiting on other people to give you a helping hand will severely hold you back.

They’re busy focusing on themselves.

High-value people are internally motivated.

Possibility Brings More Possibilities

The more you achieve, the more you demand for yourself.

Success breeds success.

Winners expect quality in all areas of life.

Fucking women of increasingly higher thresholds of attraction makes you level-up.

Your idea of what’s possible expands dramatically.

When Your Fantasy World Is Brutally Stripped Away, You See What Societies Truly Operate On

POWER / VALUE.

Everything in this world is an exchange of value.

Nature doesn’t give a single fuck about those who lack it.

The only way you’ll ever survive is if you remain true to yourself.

In fact, you can’t make any kind of change in the world until you realize your personal power.

There isn’t a single person on this earth who can prioritize your own well-being besides yourself.

It’s all smoke & mirrors.

You’ll never truly know how other people feel about you.

Enjoy your friendships / relationships, but keep in mind they can only go so far.

Love thyself.

Want access to more powerful insights?

Read “Twitter Meditations“.

It’s a collection of golden maxims proven to help increase income, develop better relationships, attain greater freedom, and live a better life!

Enjoy.
-M.I.

When someone says they love another, outside of blood relatives, most often it has to do with the way the object of their affection looks, quality of sex, quality of communication, desirability, quality of character, education, health, income, etc. Everyone searches for the highest quality of ‘love’ they can find. Most want a commitment from the object of their affection when they think they’ve found the best they can get or when time appears to be running out.

Now, let’s say the person they ‘claim to love’ gets in an accident, can no longer work, can no longer have sex, lives in constant pain, and is disfigured. Let’s say this person will never get out of bed again and will live another fifteen years with proper care. Given this scenario, is there still love, or is the one that was once ‘loved’ now found to be repulsive and a drain on the quality of life of the healthy partner? Will the healthy partner remain in the relationship out of a sense of obligation or instead leave to find a better quality of life? In either case, was there ever really ‘love’ in the relationship to begin with? Admittedly, this is an extreme example. Nevertheless, many default on their wedding vows over far less extenuating circumstances.

I think the word ‘love’ as it is comically used today is a set of superficial characteristics that, when broken down into specific categories (wealth, looks, sex, character, health, etc.) open the door for two people to give and receive commitment and affection. As long as the original characteristics that brought about this ‘love’ remain fairly constant, ‘love’ remains. The word love when used in this context is meaningless. In most cases, when someone tells you that they ‘love you’, they really mean that as long as you continue to meet a certain set of conditions, you’ll continue to receive affection, respect and commitment. Again, this is the artificial form of love – what we commonly refer to as ‘conditional love’. Conditional love is faux love and over time will fade, especially when the conditions that brought about that ‘love’ fall short of expectations. The results are very often infidelity, broken hearts, broken dreams, violence, destroyed souls, abandonment, broken families, substance abuse, divorce and, in the worst of cases, homicide and/or suicide.

Marriage has been on the decline for many decades. As our society becomes more and more narcissistic, and as the wealth in middle and lower classes continues to decline, marriage will become all but extinct. Obviously, the requisites for conditional love remain strong in the upper classes, so in their case, marriage will continue to survive and thrive. All relevant statistics bear out the continuity of strength in upper class marriages.

The effects of fraud in no-fault divorce and domestic violence laws on marriage is a hotly debated topic as well. I see the lack of protection from fraud in these laws as a reflection of our ever increasing narcissism and a compelling reason to avoid modern marriage.

Last but certainly not least, there’s the never ending proliferation of porn and objectification of human sexuality.

Oh – and let’s not forget what is commonly being referred to as ‘generational theft’, which I view as the financial destruction of future generations through deranged debt deferment. As the debt of previous and current generations continues to increase and defer, and as the weight of this debt falls more heavily on the shoulders of their children and grandchildren, the ability of those children and grandchildren to have families of their own will continue to deteriorate. As their ability to build families of their own deteriorates, replacement rates drop even more and the viscous cycle continues into perpetuity. Again, these aren’t made up facts and can easily be proven through the study of post WWII trends and statistics that bear out the declining replacement rates across all Western societies.

Once the pinnacle of strength and health in our society, modern marriage is now, in most cases, a conditional commitment, rooted in narcissism, easily discharged when tastes, desires or needs change and is wide open to fraud and abuse. Clearly, as evidenced through decades past and present, the values that once brought about a majority of stable, loving, mentally healthy families are going the way of the dodo bird. One need only read the relevant statistics for proof. I’m not making any of this up.

I believe that real love and friendship, outside of blood relations, is a rarity in our narcissistic society. If the mass media, publishing institutions and learning institutions nationwide would thoroughly and regularly expose the reality that the words love, commitment and friendship are in most cases words used superficially and conditionally, there would be a lot less pain and confusion in this world.
In today’s world, behavior in intimate relationships would fare better if we looked at our friendships and intimate relationships in the same way we view employer/employee relationships (i.e., more in line with current reality). In other words, in your friendships and intimate relationships, you must consistently perform ‘up to expectations’. The potential consequences of performing beneath those expectations would of course be the withdrawal of ‘love’, ‘friendship’, and ‘commitment’. I’m not saying I like this way of thinking. I’m just saying this way of thinking falls more in line with current realities and might make us all think more carefully about marriage and family. Get this – we could have annual spousal performance reviews. We could grade one another in bed, communication, social activity, financial productivity. We could even bring the kids into the mix and have annual parent performance reviews and annual child performance reviews. “Sorry kids – You’re not preforming up to par. We’re going to have to let you go and hire a more qualified set of children.” Too funny.

Many years ago, I read somewhere that “Disillusionment is the state of being freed of enchantments, false beliefs and illusions.” I personally found this definition of disillusionment quite liberating.

16 thoughts on “How Self-Worth Is Essential To Well-Being”

FullyAwake
May 13, 2013 at 9:14 am

Great post! Great to read the words of a wise man! Just awesome!

1. FullyAwake
  May 13, 2013 at 9:29 am
  
  When someone says they love another, outside of blood relatives, most often it has to do with the way the object of their affection looks, quality of sex, quality of communication, desirability, quality of character, education, health, income, etc. Everyone searches for the highest quality of ‘love’ they can find. Most want a commitment from the object of their affection when they think they’ve found the best they can get or when time appears to be running out.
  
  Now, let’s say the person they ‘claim to love’ gets in an accident, can no longer work, can no longer have sex, lives in constant pain, and is disfigured. Let’s say this person will never get out of bed again and will live another fifteen years with proper care. Given this scenario, is there still love, or is the one that was once ‘loved’ now found to be repulsive and a drain on the quality of life of the healthy partner? Will the healthy partner remain in the relationship out of a sense of obligation or instead leave to find a better quality of life? In either case, was there ever really ‘love’ in the relationship to begin with? Admittedly, this is an extreme example. Nevertheless, many default on their wedding vows over far less extenuating circumstances.
  
  I think the word ‘love’ as it is comically used today is a set of superficial characteristics that, when broken down into specific categories (wealth, looks, sex, character, health, etc.) open the door for two people to give and receive commitment and affection. As long as the original characteristics that brought about this ‘love’ remain fairly constant, ‘love’ remains. The word love when used in this context is meaningless. In most cases, when someone tells you that they ‘love you’, they really mean that as long as you continue to meet a certain set of conditions, you’ll continue to receive affection, respect and commitment. Again, this is the artificial form of love – what we commonly refer to as ‘conditional love’. Conditional love is faux love and over time will fade, especially when the conditions that brought about that ‘love’ fall short of expectations. The results are very often infidelity, broken hearts, broken dreams, violence, destroyed souls, abandonment, broken families, substance abuse, divorce and, in the worst of cases, homicide and/or suicide.
  
  Marriage has been on the decline for many decades. As our society becomes more and more narcissistic, and as the wealth in middle and lower classes continues to decline, marriage will become all but extinct. Obviously, the requisites for conditional love remain strong in the upper classes, so in their case, marriage will continue to survive and thrive. All relevant statistics bear out the continuity of strength in upper class marriages.
  
  The effects of fraud in no-fault divorce and domestic violence laws on marriage is a hotly debated topic as well. I see the lack of protection from fraud in these laws as a reflection of our ever increasing narcissism and a compelling reason to avoid modern marriage.
  
  Last but certainly not least, there’s the never ending proliferation of porn and objectification of human sexuality.
  
  Oh – and let’s not forget what is commonly being referred to as ‘generational theft’, which I view as the financial destruction of future generations through deranged debt deferment. As the debt of previous and current generations continues to increase and defer, and as the weight of this debt falls more heavily on the shoulders of their children and grandchildren, the ability of those children and grandchildren to have families of their own will continue to deteriorate. As their ability to build families of their own deteriorates, replacement rates drop even more and the viscous cycle continues into perpetuity. Again, these aren’t made up facts and can easily be proven through the study of post WWII trends and statistics that bear out the declining replacement rates across all Western societies.
  
  Once the pinnacle of strength and health in our society, modern marriage is now, in most cases, a conditional commitment, rooted in narcissism, easily discharged when tastes, desires or needs change and is wide open to fraud and abuse. Clearly, as evidenced through decades past and present, the values that once brought about a majority of stable, loving, mentally healthy families are going the way of the dodo bird. One need only read the relevant statistics for proof. I’m not making any of this up.
  
  I believe that real love and friendship, outside of blood relations, is a rarity in our narcissistic society. If the mass media, publishing institutions and learning institutions nationwide would thoroughly and regularly expose the reality that the words love, commitment and friendship are in most cases words used superficially and conditionally, there would be a lot less pain and confusion in this world.
  In today’s world, behavior in intimate relationships would fare better if we looked at our friendships and intimate relationships in the same way we view employer/employee relationships (i.e., more in line with current reality). In other words, in your friendships and intimate relationships, you must consistently perform ‘up to expectations’. The potential consequences of performing beneath those expectations would of course be the withdrawal of ‘love’, ‘friendship’, and ‘commitment’. I’m not saying I like this way of thinking. I’m just saying this way of thinking falls more in line with current realities and might make us all think more carefully about marriage and family. Get this – we could have annual spousal performance reviews. We could grade one another in bed, communication, social activity, financial productivity. We could even bring the kids into the mix and have annual parent performance reviews and annual child performance reviews. “Sorry kids – You’re not preforming up to par. We’re going to have to let you go and hire a more qualified set of children.” Too funny.
  
  Many years ago, I read somewhere that “Disillusionment is the state of being freed of enchantments, false beliefs and illusions.” I personally found this definition of disillusionment quite liberating.
  
  1. misterinfinite
    May 13, 2013 at 3:27 pm
    
    well said
    
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